Type your answers to these questions and save them on your h drive. Use complete sentences. Use this sheet for notes or “rough” answers if necessary. 1. Topic: Write the complete topic (the exact words) you used for your college essay.
I responded to the question "Why have you chosen your particular course of study?"
2. Thesis: what is the main point you are trying to convey in your essay?
My thesis is "I was obviously meant to be an engineer." The point of my thesis is kind of obvious
3. Hook: what is effective or catchy about your opening?
I begin by talking about paintball and I think that is a much more interesting subject to open with than if I were to just start talking about my ambitions right away
4. Showing vs. telling: where have you most effectively used showing language in your essay? (Give some specific examples.)
My second sentence is full of action verbs, and my second paragraph has a couple moments where I start to describe the scene more in depth.
5. What do you feel you have done well in this piece?
I think I have explained my motivation to be an engineer pretty well.
6. What do you still doubt about this piece?
It's not very long and maybe doesn't go into as much detail as it should.
7. Describe how you revised this piece. What kinds of changes did you make? Why? How?
I revised my paper by going over the comments that you and some students made on the piece. I got rid of a "your" in the first paragraph, and added more detail in the second. The hardest part probably about going back and revising my paper, I think, was keeping the same tone and mindset that I had while typing it, while trying not to change the meaning of the paragraphs too much. This is probably why I didn't add too much to it, and didn't add anything to the last paragraph about why I chose the particular school I had chosen.
Type your answers to these questions and save them on your h drive. Use complete sentences. Use this sheet for notes or “rough” answers if necessary.
1. Topic: Write the complete topic (the exact words) you used for your college essay.
I responded to the question "Why have you chosen your particular course of study?"
2. Thesis: what is the main point you are trying to convey in your essay?
My thesis is "I was obviously meant to be an engineer." The point of my thesis is kind of obvious
3. Hook: what is effective or catchy about your opening?
I begin by talking about paintball and I think that is a much more interesting subject to open with than if I were to just start talking about my ambitions right away
4. Showing vs. telling: where have you most effectively used showing language in your essay? (Give some specific examples.)
My second sentence is full of action verbs, and my second paragraph has a couple moments where I start to describe the scene more in depth.
5. What do you feel you have done well in this piece?
I think I have explained my motivation to be an engineer pretty well.
6. What do you still doubt about this piece?
It's not very long and maybe doesn't go into as much detail as it should.
7. Describe how you revised this piece. What kinds of changes did you make? Why? How?
I revised my paper by going over the comments that you and some students made on the piece. I got rid of a "your" in the first paragraph, and added more detail in the second. The hardest part probably about going back and revising my paper, I think, was keeping the same tone and mindset that I had while typing it, while trying not to change the meaning of the paragraphs too much. This is probably why I didn't add too much to it, and didn't add anything to the last paragraph about why I chose the particular school I had chosen.